Still trying ...

Well, as you can tell from the gap between posting dates, I did not successfully end my pity party. I used to NEVER skip workouts, but now I do. I used to not snack constantly, but now I do. I say I care, but actions say I don't. And I WANT to care, but I am really struggling with caring because I know I'm in decay mode so it doesn't really matter what I do.

Now I know "decay mode" sounds really severe, but that's where my head has been. So, I'm trying to act like I care about myself and maybe, at some point, I will again. Don't get me wrong. I do care about myself. I'm not jumping off a bridge or anything. But I have stopped taking care of myself like I used to.

One thing I'm trying is to find something that makes exercising fun again. I'm a jogger with bad knees, and now I'm fat too, so that's not happening. I'm tired of step aerobics and nordic track and exercise bikes. Some friends came over this past week and brought their new Wii with them. My husband HATES games, but her husband wouldn't take no for an answer so we all played ... just the basic games. And IT WAS FUN! Even Jay had fun. And I noticed that I was breathing a little heavy. hmmmm. So I went out and got a Wii. The other thing I did was get DDR (Dance Revolution game). I saw it years ago and was really interested, so I'm going to try it. So I'm hoping that maybe the Wii will re-invigorate my workouts.

So, I'm trying. I ate well yesterday and worked out. So I have successfully completed 1 day of caring. I'm on my 2nd day. I work out hard in the mornings, and I've been playing some sort of Wii game in the evening just so I'm not a total couch potato after work. My husband and I ride our bikes when the weather is nice, but that's not happening for a few months now. So Wii tennis or boxing is filling in for riding my bike. And, I don't feel like snacking as much ... I'm not sitting on my recliner staring at a dumb TV show watching commercials about food.

A whole day and a half of "I care". I'll just keep taking it one day at a time and see if I can't loose some of this pity weight and improve my mental outlook.