It's been a tough year and I find my "ho ho ho" is a little low. I did my Christmas baking, which is a fair amount if I do say so myself. I thought if I went through the motions, the holiday spirit might start creeping in, but I'm still feeling pretty un-Christmasy. Christmas was mom's favorite holiday, so it's a tough one for all of us. And we keep staring at Zena wondering if/when a tumor is going to cause another rupture and if that will be the fatal one. I know, pretty morbid.
I delivered cookies to a few friends today. That's always nice. At work, our department collected things for a family in need and that probably made me feel the best. We do it every year, but this year, the family was particularly needy and it just felt good knowing we were helping a couple of kids who expected nothing for Christmas to have a nice Christmas.
Tomorrow the kids come down and that will be fun. I need to snap out of it though and be open to enjoy it. It just doesn't FEEL like Christmas Eve.
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