We've decked the halls for Christmas so the house is looking pretty festive. And I've been doing my Christmas baking. So I'm getting into the mood a little, but it's just hard to REALLY get into the Christmas spirit this year. Between loosing mom and dealing with Zena's cancer, it's just hard to get the ho ho ho going. But I'm trying.
We've had Zena on chemo for a couple of weeks. After the first 5 days or so, she threw up 3 days in a row and started really feeling bad. So the vet told us to give her a break for 4 days and then give it to her every other day. So we did that. But after a week again, she started feeling REALLY bad again. She couldn't go upstairs at the end of the day Saturday, so I slept downstairs with her that night. So we're stopping it again for a few days and we'll try cutting the dose AND doing it every other day.
We need to find a regimen that works for her. It's just a matter of trial and error. I just feel so sad when she feels bad like that. She's so week and feeble. But after giving her a break, we're noticing a little improvement at the end of today. So, when she gets her sea legs back, we'll try again using a half dose.
I hope we're doing the right thing keeping her going. I feel so selfish on days when she's so miserable. But then she perks up and I'm glad I did it again. But, mostly, I feel quite selfish. I'm just not ready to stop seeing that face and petting that head. I'm not ready to stop seeing her tail wag when she sees me. I'm not ready to stop seeing her greet me at the door. I'm just not ready. And I hope (really, really hope) she agrees with me.
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