Happy Birthday Mom!

I went to visit my mom this weekend. I try to visit once a month and this month I timed the visit to coincide with mom's birthday weekend. It was really nice. Mom turned 84 and she doesn't like being 84, but I think she enjoyed her 84th birthday in spite of that. A couple of other sisters came over on Saturday too and we all brought a dish -- my brother-in-law made the cake. It was pretty perfect. It was a good visit.

Jen couldn't make it because she has a big order that she's working on. www.homesweetbyhand.com that's my girl! I love her stuff and apparently so does someone else. :-)

Of course, that was the first day of snacking/munching that I've had since the beginning of the year. What can I say ... mmmmmmm. And I was hungry today. It's amazing. I've been sticking to my new routine so well, but one day off the wagon and I'm back to my old cravings. Hopefully it will pass quickly. On the bright side, I didn't gain weight from it so I guess I didn't go too crazy. Back squarely on the wagon and hoping I have a way to go before my calorie intake = my output.

Today was a really rainy day, so Jay and I couldn't ride bikes after work. Tomorrow will be iffy, but after that, we should be able to ride the rest of the week. That's an activity that we enjoy doing together. For some reason, we chat more while riding than we do when we're doing other things, so it's really pleasant. And we both have very sedentary jobs, and we work out very differently, so having a physical activity that we both enjoy and share is really nice. We look forward to the nice weather.

I think I'll play a little Wii tennis before bed. :-)

One day at a time

I'm still plugging along. Eating less bread (a lot less bread). Not snacking (mostly). Exercising daily. Remember, I'm not on a diet per se. I've adjusted/corrected my eating habits. I've lost about 16 lbs and it hasn't been bad. This week has been more difficult because my "why am I doing this" attitude tried to come back. I guess I'm going to always struggle with that. I didn't used to, but I think this side of the hill makes those thoughts inevitable. But I keep telling myself that even though I won't be a size 8, I am already feeling better and that's worth a lot.

It's disappointing that no one can tell that I've lost weight, but I definitely notice. I no longer feel like I'm going to explode out of my slacks and I'm able to wear some pants that I had to stop wearing. And I guess that explains why no one can tell ... I'm wearing the same clothes. I haven't lost enough to drop a size, I'm just able to wear my existing clothes again and not feel terrified of an embarrassing moment, but they are definitely loose now. So I have to stay focussed on the positive.

I'm still fighting the perpetual cough. All the various medications that have been prescribed have helped, but it hasn't gone away. I've been coughing more this week and it's frustrating my husband because he went out and bought better filters for the house vents and a couple of air purifiers to help reduce the pet dander, and I seem to be coughing more this week. I can't explain it.

I decided to try a home-grown remedy since modern science isn't quite doing the job. I got some apple cider vinegar and fresh, local honey to mix with hot water and sip in the morning and evening in an effort to get rid of it. We'll see how it goes. It won't hurt and, who knows, it might help. It's a generally good-for-you kinda of tonic anyway, so what the hell.

So I continue to fight the loosing battle of the wrong side of the bell curve. The positive results give me the illusion that I'm winning the battle. I know there's no way to WIN the battle. Aging is aging ... no getting around it. So, even though I can't change that fact, I can make the journey less miserable. That's all any of us can do. So in that sense, I guess I'm winning. :-)

Snow, snow, snow

I am so sick of snow! I thought we wouldn't ever need our snow shovels again after moving to the eastern shore. WRONG! It was a good thing that Jay can't throw anything away because our snow shovels were put back into service this past weekend. We got over 10 inches of snow which is VERY unusual here. Jay's mom was visiting and got snowed in in her vacation home nearby, so after I cleared our driveway, we headed over to her house to dig her out too. I think I made up for a week of no workouts.

It was Jay's birthday on Saturday, but the winter storm kept us in. Our friends who own a restaurant felt bad that they closed the restaurant because of the snow on Jay's birthday and brought us over fixings for our favorite dinners on Sunday, so he still had a fantastic Adolfo's dinner -- minus the wonderful service. But I still owe him a dinner out. Maybe this coming weekend -- though they are calling for more miserable winter weather this weekend. Spring ... where are you!?

It was nice to get back to working out again this morning. I'm still coughing. I go to the doctor for another test tomorrow. I hope they see something that explains all this stinking coughing. Plus my blood pressure doesn't want to be managed -- it's still high even though the doctor added another medication. So I guess we'll have to do more experimenting to find what will work. Blah blah blah. Fighting the urge to say to hell with everything again. I'm feeling better with my little 10 lb weight loss though, so I guess I'll keep my focus. It's still hard though.

Recovery week

I spent this past week recovering which means no working out or playing Wii tennis at night. I did do my lunchtime walks at work, but that was it. And with the help of friends and co-workers I was able to get an appointment with a pulmonologist to see if they can figure out why I've been coughing for 4 months! The cool thing is that I don't have to wait until March -- my appointment is next week. I was so happy. I was really depressed at the thought of 6 or more weeks of coughing waiting for an appointment.

Next week I'll get back to my morning workouts and my evening Wii tennis. I missed playing Wii this week. It made for a pretty boring week.

I had a couple of days of very little coughing, but it was back today. :-( I hope they find a reason soon. I'm really sick of coughing.

But, overall, so far, I've been doing pretty good with keeping my attitude positive and getting back into a good workout routine.

Another miserable day

Boy, whatever this is, it sure has me miserable. Although, the tenderness in my neck is fading, so maybe I'm finally, really on the mend. I thought I would start feeling better after the fever broke yesterday, but that didn't happen. And though I'm less miserable (I think), I wouldn't say that I'm ready to go out or anything.

I'm trying hard to not blame being sick so much the last few months on my age. Everyone gets sick, but I've always been pretty hearty, so it's really tempting to to just blame this last several months on age, but I'm resisting. I figure that the bronchitis-turned-chronic-cough has made me vulnerable to colds and flu. Based on the really miserable achiness, I'm guessing that what I have/had was some form of flu.

On the brighter side, I checked my daughter's online store and she has over 100 orders now! I am so proud of her! Again, one of those things I couldn't experience if I was 20 and didn't have a grown daughter. If anyone is curious, check her store out at http://homesweet.etsy.com or visit her website at http://homesweetbyhand.com/

So proud. :-)

Glutino?

I have had this persistent/chronic cough since I had bronchitis at the beginning of November. The latest plan is to treat it as "adult onset asthma", so I have an inhaler and a new allergy medication in addition to my blood pressure meds. If this doesn't get rid of the cough, then we (my doctor and I) will try taking me off of lisinopril and try something else for the blood pressure because one of the common side effects of lisinopril is a persistent cough.

The reason we didn't change the BP medication first is because the cough isn't a dry, tickle kind of cough; it's a productive cough.

I got to thinking, I wonder, if with everything else that's going to pot on me these days, could wheat/gluten be becoming an issue for me. It's odd that I would love something that makes me ill, but it fits with the other craziness going on with my body any more. Although, I HAVE dramatically reduced my bread intake, I am still having bread. Mostly whole grain, but that's the not the same as gluten free.

When I was in the grocery store, I saw a cereal called "Glutino" in the "natural/organic" aisle. It looked like gluten-free cheerios, so I got it to try. It's actually pretty tasty. I guess the only real way to know if I have developed an issue with gluten, is to stop eating foods that contain gluten, but I don't think that's very likely. I'm not THAT miserable. Certainly not miserable enough to go that far ... unless nothing else works I guess. If I have to go that route, fortunately the health food grocery stores have gluten free bread options. We'll see.

In the mean time, I'm staying pretty much on track with my eating plan and I have increased my exercise in an effort to pump up my metabolism. I'll never be a bony ass with my little program ... I've always been a sturdy girl. But I'd be delighted if eating this way knocked off 20 pounds or so. That's not asking tooooo much, is it?

Good football weekend

It was a busy weekend. I visited my mom near D.C. We babysat our grandson while the kids helped friends paint some rooms in their new house. And we watched a lot of football.

I took my new Wii to my mom's house to show my mom and sister. Mom thought it was interesting, but wasn't interested enough to try it -- she is 83. But I thought she might try the bowling. My sister really seemed to get into it. I wonder if I can get a commission from Nintendo for sales that I make? :-)

Though the weekend was fun, it was far from anything you'd eat on a diet, but since I'm not on a diet, it's all good. 3 glasses of wine at mom's house. Buttered popcorn with football (not ALL of the games -- just one). And eating with a 3 year old rarely consititutes healthy eating. But, I don't think I went nuts either, so I'm feeling pretty ok about it. Afterall, I'm not on a diet ... I'm in the process of changing my eating habits as part of a general lifestyle change/improvement.

Even though I'm thinking about and talking about food constantly, I am trying to not think of what I'm doing as a diet. It's a quality of life issue for me. I had managed to let myself go to where I just wasn't feeling good about myself or even just good in general. I'm not a candidate for "The Biggest Looser", I'm just slipping into the next size and I don't want to go. Ergo, changes need to be made. Baby steps.

More changes ... not in a good way

I've noticed that my skin seems to scratch/break easier. I guess the loss of collogen or whatever, that affects the elasticity. You see it in "older" folks all the time, but I guess I never thought about when it begins. Let's face it, you don't wake up one day and all at once have thin skin. So I'm thinking it begins like this. You start noticing more nicks and scratches. It's not noticeable to anyone but me at this point, so I won't loose sleep over it. It's just another annoyance that this side of the hill/bell curve offers that the other side doesn't. Oh joy.

And this chronic cough, that seems to have been a gift remaining from a bout of bronchitis that I had last fall, just won't go away. I don't know if, in addition to all my other complaints, this has turned into asthma, but the doctors don't have a better idea at this point. I guess it's back to my primary care group to see what other ideas they have.

I did well on my new regimen again today. I'm hungry right now, but I guess that's not avoidable. I am eating less after all. Hopefully, my body will adjust to the new portions and stop being hungry. Apparently, that doesn't happen in a week. There really isn't any reason for me to be hungry. I ate more than any diet would allow, but I ate a lot less than I normally do. And that's all I'm planning to do -- all I'm willing to do. I haven't gotten get rid of my entire "I don't give a crap" attitude. I do want to enjoy meals. I don't want to count calories and live on teeny, packaged portions for the rest of my life. I am willing to cut back on how much I eat and indulge less often. That's reasonable.

I worked out this morning and had a walk at lunch at work. I might play a little tennis later this evening. The trick will be to stick with this for more than a few weeks. I usually manage to be "good" for a month or so and then, when the pounds don't melt the way I think they should, I give up in disgust. I have to remember that I'm not 20 anymore. Nothing about this body works the way it used to. Since I don't really consider this a diet ... just a diet change, I'm trying not to obsess about the weight part. Though you can't tell it from reading this blog. But I don't get on the scale every morning or multiple times a day like I usually do.

So I continue on my slide down the hill, but trying to slow the slide down a little.

When your child becomes your friend

My daughter discovered my blog this past week, which is fine, but it means that this is no longer an anonymous outlet. She's known for a while that I'm not happy with the aging process. Turning 50 (7 years ago) was the first birthday that bothered me. Unlike many people, I didn't care about 30 or 40, but 50 ... I took the day off from work, stayed in my sweats and moped. It was like a sick day.

Jen discovered that I was home doing the death scene from Macbeth and left work at lunch and joined me. She made tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for us (comfort food from my childhood) and we spent the afternoon watching movies. :-) That turned out to be my favorite birthday memory.

My daughter has a business that she started a little over a year ago. She hand block prints fabrics and makes home decor items. http://www.homesweetbyhand.com/. I love her work -- and not just because she's my daughter. There are many things where we have similar taste. At her website she has a blog too and I love checking it out. This morning I did my usual thing and checked out her blog and she has an entry about the decision to have children ... I have a spectacular grandson. It was like she read my mind as she described what it's like to have kids. I loved it.

It dawns on me as I write, I can't be 20 and experiencing this sense of pride and happiness at my daughter. The ONLY way I can be having this experience is to be my age because she needed to be a grown-up to have her son and be the person she is. So, I guess I have FINALLY found a bright spot to getting older ... enjoying the fruits of your labor. We work hard when we're young to build a life and for those of us who had children, there is more to enjoy as they do the same thing. If you're lucky, children are the gift that keeps on giving. And I AM LUCKY.